I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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