Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
