Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We are all done wearing pants today
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
