Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
