Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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