I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
