Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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