We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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