Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
