i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
