if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
