I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
