areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
