I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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