so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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