but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize