i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
