It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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