Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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