Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Randomize
