lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Randomize
