Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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