we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize