i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
