if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i will never coherently bang her
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
