I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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