I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize