took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
