He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
