She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize