You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
