I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
