We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize