he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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