i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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