I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
