Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
