If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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