I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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