So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
