i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
