I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
