so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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