dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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