When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
