I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
