Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
