He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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