Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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