i don't like sucking hair
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
