I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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