Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
