textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
