he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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