Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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