i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
