Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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