I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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