He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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