Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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