would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
