Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Hippo gnu deer
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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